How can I move on after my divorce?

The time after divorce is always a difficult period. Like many others, you may experience a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days you would be grateful for the divorce and other days, you would feel down and confused.

At this time there are many things you need to pay attention to. You need to focus on yourself as an individual, spend time to decide on what you need to do to let go of the past, and look forward to the new future ahead of you. It is an important step towards letting go.

On days you don’t feel like you should have ended the marriage, focus on what the relationship was lacking and why you had to end it. Do not beat yourself up for what happened. Remember, life continues, start by focusing on yourself, and be hopeful for a better future and a more fulfilled life after divorce.

Keep up a healthy social life that is not dependent upon 1-1 relationships until you have properly regained your equilibrium. Avoid sitting alone re-analysing what went wrong, or using one or two long-suffering friends to pour out your miseries. Divorce is very painful.

If you have some creative leisure activity, such as working with clay, the act of creating something is tremendously therapeutic and you will find that after the first ten minutes your circular negative thinking around the divorce will be absent. The work with your hands seems to mop up your thoughts and has a very calming effect.

If you end a session with something you have created, that is uplifting in itself. You need to feel useful. Voluntary work also achieves this feeling and restores some confidence. The misery does pass but it needs an active attempt to re-engage with life on your part.