We are designed wrong. Our emotions don't prepare us to converse effectively.
We are under pressure. Crucial conversations are usually spontaneous.
We are stumped. You don't know where to start because you haven't often seen real-life models of effective communication skills.
We act in self-defeating ways. The strategies that we choose for dealing with our crucial conversations keep us from what we actually want.
Countless generations of genetic shaping drive humans to handle crucial conversations with flying fists and fleet feet, not intelligent persuasion and gentle attentiveness.